My Life Vision Has ChangedOct 17, 2022
My life vision has changed.
If you follow my podcast, Permission to Burn Your Manual, you’ll know that I burned my 10-yr plan a bit ago and instituted a life vision. The book burning was born out of a desire to remove all things that didn’t contribute to my wellness whether physical or mental.
My 10-yr plan DEFINITELY met the burning criteria.
Planning was one of my favorite things to do. I loved planning out my dreams, goals, and tidbits for one, three, five, and 10 years. Through planning, I offered myself an invitation to fantasy land and the place I would arrive eventually. And here the illusion of the arrival fallacy was born.
“When I achieve my one year or 10-yr plan, I will finally have lasting happiness.”
I may not have consciously thought that phrase at the time, but I lived it. The arrival fallacy is a state of mind, and I lived precisely on arrival fallacy island. The grass is always greener on the other side, right?
But life didn’t go according to my plans, and the consequences were far-reaching. The shame and blame set in flavored with self-doubt, insecurity, and the degradation of my self-confidence. The moment that I created that plan, it became a part of my manual—the way I defined my expectations of self and how I secured love, acceptance, and validation from others but also myself. If I did not achieve the plan exactly as designed and on-time, I considered that a failure.
I told myself horrible things. I was my own worst enemy in these moments, and I also didn’t allow myself to deviate. Because I did not give myself permission to deviate, I recognized no opportunities to do so. Rather than frolicking in the other plants amongst me, I was determined to get to the grass on the other side.
As I started on this coaching journey, I took a life inventory. If you’re not familiar with the life inventory, check-out podcast episode seven, which you can find HERE.
I took a life inventory to better establish my priorities. I thought I knew what my priorities were but in truth, I was continents away from living them in an authentic way. I had stated priorities which my actions never supported. But more importantly, my priorities were not a part of my 10-yr plan. My 10-yr plan was all about cultivating accomplishment and arrival rather than the person I wanted to become.
Upon completion of this life inventory, I had three very clear priorities to address. First, I would focus on my personal wellness and growth, a category long dead and forgotten. Next, I planned to work on becoming the person I wanted to be within my family. Finally, I intended to hone my focus to serve the medical community through burnout, stress, work-life balance, and everything else that ails them. In service of priority number three, I created the Restorative Wellness Coaching Collective and welcomed 18 members for the beta launch. All the while, I continued to coach private clients, healthcare professional or not.
Through a series of pivotal moments, I’ve realized a few things. First, professional women in any field have similar pain points. We are all struggling with work-life balance, excessive stress, deficiency in wellness, and for the moms in the group, the dreaded mom guilt and shame. Secondly, healthcare professionals are siloed from the rest of the world. We need an environment to forge the craved connections with the rest of the world. Through these connections, the rest of the world will be afforded the opportunity to understand healthcare professionals more deeply and vice versa.
If we are to bring the human back to medicine, we must show our human to more than other healthcare professionals. Therefore, for the November 2022 launch of the Restorative Wellness Coaching Collective, we will be welcoming all women working in any profession. My life vision has now modified to include professionals outside of healthcare and address the burnout, stress, and wellness on a larger scale. The collective at this time is launching ONLY to women in order to ensure safety for those who have experienced past trauma with men. I remain available for 1:1 clients if this collective isn’t for you. For healthcare professionals, we will have some specific breakout sessions ONLY for healthcare professionals to maintain psychological safety around work issues.
Welcome to your soft place land! The Restorative Wellness Coaching Collective with Cathi Whaley MD will open for enrollment November 2022.
If you are interested in having first access to the limited spots, please sign-up for the waitlist found HERE.
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